Normally, I try to find a picture to go with my post, but I’m finally able to exhale from the dramas of trying to get my website to be what I needed and wanted it to be.

I queried at least five web designers to help create my site. When they all asked for information and then never followed through, I was livid. What an absolute waste of my precious time. Then I was told that this woman was good. Not even! She did whatever to my already messed up site and collected her payment.

Finally, my hubby found someone smart and dependable to do my website. I have my jewelry and my blog all in one place. Let me just say he was a God sent.

Now that it’s over I can relax and focus on other things.

Can’t wait to post some more jewelry and my random ramblings.

It’s been quite some time since I’ve shared any of my stories or poems. As a treat I’m sharing one of my first stories I have ever written. I wrote this story when I was a senior in high school. Some of the characters had different names and the location was also different. But the message was the same. I rewrote it last year.

STAY TRUE TO YOU

Sean was a short pudgy girl with freckles all over her face. And having a boy’s name didn’t help her to make friends. Sean was walking down the long hallway to her math class, and there stood another girl with beautiful long jet black hair, her stylish clothes and thin as could be looking lost. Sean giggled to herself, because this girl is what her father would call a tall glass of water.

Sean walked up to her and said, “Hi! You look like someone who is lost. Are you new here? I am Sean.” At first Sean didn’t think she would say a word, but she did.

“Sean, is your name? That’s a weird name for a girl. Who named you that and why? Oh never mind, you don’t have to answer that. Is it that obvious that I am new? Oh, yea my name is Eve. I was looking for my math class. The teacher’s name is Mr. Lee,” said Eve as she moved her hair out of her face.

“What a coincidence I happen to be on my way there now. What middle school did you go to?” Sean asked. She couldn’t recall ever seeing her before.

“Susan B. Anthony in New York,” Eve said.

Sean was a chatter box; even though it didn’t seem as if Eve wanted to talk Sean wanted to know more about this new girl. “Well, about my name, my father named me. And he won’t admit it, but I think he was hoping for a boy. And since I am an only child, this is as close as he’ll ever get. What was it like going to school in New York? Did you guys have to wear uniforms and stuff?”

“Oh no! Can you imagine? It wasn’t that different. I just went to school later on, like in September not August. And we didn’t have trailers. My school had different levels, I mean floors. You know I am not use to seeing schools with trailers,” she said.

“So what made you stay here, instead of going back?” Sean asked.

“I just stayed to try something different. I had friends too,” Eve said sadly.

“You don’t have any friends yet?” She just shook her head. “Well you do now. I don’t really have any friends here myself. And I was born and raised here. In order to be down you have to sell yourself short of nothing to be like them. You have to be a snob, egotistical, stuck-up person. It’s just not worth it at all. I just never fitted in, and don’t be surprise if you don’t fit in either. Well, here’s the room,” Sean told Eve.

“Thanks for showing me the way.”

“No problem it was on…”

“Excuse me ladies, if you are now done with your conversation, maybe you would like to join the rest of the class.”

Sean began to explain, “Mr. Lee I’m sorry that we’re late, but this is a new school for Eve.”

“Okay, ladies, I’ll let it slide this time. Believe me, there will not be another. Eve, which school did you go to before?” Mr. Lee said.

“I’m not from Georgia at all. I went to school in New York. I came to visit my grandmother for the summer and decided to stay. In New York, I went to a school called Susan B. Anthony,” Eve answered.

After the class, Pat a girl that was so muscular at first glance you would think she was a boy. But make no mistake she was one of the meanest girls in the school. She wore her clothes just like the boys, over-sized and hanging off her medium built frame. Pat had five brothers so she had to be able to defend herself like them or they would beat her up.

Pat walked straight right up to Eve and said, “Well, well, well, what do we have here? I hope you don’t plan on staying long. I can’t stand Northerners.”

“You do not know me, and I’m pretty sure I do not want to know you. You don’t have to like me. I didn’t ask to come to this school. I don’t owe you no explanation or any of my time. Excuse me and let me go to my next class.”

Sean heard Pat whisper to her cronies as they walked away. “Girls we need her. She has a mouth on her and that alone will keep people away from us.”

After school Sean saw Eve heading for the school bus in the front of the school, “Eve wait-up. You said you live in the Crescent Subdivision, right?”

“Yes. Why?” she asked.

“I live in the same subdivision. I can sit with you on the bus, if you don’t mind,” said Sean.

“I guess it is fine,” she mumbled.

When we got to the subdivision Sean walked with Eve to her house. “Would you like to come inside and meet my grandmother?” Eve asked.

“Certainly, I’ve probably seen her before,” stated Sean. And inside they went.

“Sean, this is my grandmother Selena Nelson. Mama this is Sean. She’s a girl from my math class.”

“Miss Nelson I’m pleased to meet you. Your granddaughter has a lot to learn about choosing her friends. I mean she only asked me to show her to her to class, but there is a girl name Pat who has it in for her,” said Sean.

“What’s that suppose to mean?” questioned Eve.

“Oh nothing,” Sean exclaimed. “You’ll find out if you let her get to you.”

“Nobody, absolutely no one can get to me. I don’t let anyone play any type of mind games with my head. If…”

“Look, you don’t have to take this so offensively. I was just making a statement, and giving you a warning. Well, any way I have to go.”

“Tomorrow about what time does the bus arrive?” asked Eve

“Just about 7:30. I can meet you here at 7:15 and we can walk to the bus stop together,” I told her.

“Great,” said Eve.

About a week later, the changes started to occur. Eve was no longer upset by Pat and her gang. They all seemed so inseparable. Sean felt betrayed and knew this was going to happen, but not so soon. Sean thought it was up to her help Eve out of this mess. Sean decided to go and have a talk with Eve’s grandmother.

One afternoon after school, Sean went over to Eve’s house. She hoped that Eve would not be there as she walked up and rang the door bell.

“Hello, Miss Nelson. I need to talk to you about Eve. I think she’s in trouble.”

“Why would you think that?” Miss Nelson questioned with a puzzled look.

“She used to hang with me, but all of a sudden she stopped. She doesn’t even remember who I am. Pat and her gang of people changed her.”

“Sean, the person you are describing sounds nothing like my granddaughter,” said Miss Nelson.

“I don’t mean to say such bad things about Eve, but she doesn’t even look the same. She dresses like them. It is as if she went through a whole changing process. Pat goes around starting trouble, so that Eve would take up for her. All I want you to do is try to talk to her. If you…”

“Young lady, hold it right there. I do not appreciate any insinuations that you are making about my granddaughter. Only a jealous person could come here and talk a story like yours. Eve has more friends than you and you lived here all your life so you’re upset,” Miss Nelson said angrily.

“Miss Nelson, don’t you accuse me of anything. I just thought you’d like to know, that Eve was heading down a road of no good. Good night! I’m sorry for even wasting your time,” said Sean as she headed for the front door.

One day Sean was sitting in the lunchroom, when she saw Eve. She decided now was the time to do what needed to be done. “Eve, Eve,” Sean called out.

“What the do you want,” asked Eve.

“Look, your attitude stinks. I tried to warn you about Pat, but you didn’t listen. I told your grandmother, but…”

“Excuse me did I hear my name?” asked Pat.

Sean turned around to see Pat staring at her. All of a sudden all her buddies crowded around them. Before Sean knew it a fight broke out, and the next thing she knew she was waking up in a hospital bed.

“Sean, you have a visitor,” the nurse said.

“Who is it?” Sean asked.

“It’s me, Sean, Selena Nelson. I came with Eve to see how you are doing. Eve sent me in first to see if you wanted to talk to her,” said Eve’s grandmother.

“Tell her to come then,” Sean said. Eve came in a few minutes later.

“Sean, the girl with the boy name, Never the less you are a girl that decided to be my friend without even knowing me. Thank you! My grandmother has told me not to change myself to make a friend, and to be proud of me. Instead, I hung my head and changed to please people. And the best friend I ever had got hurt in return. Do you even realize what happened?” asked Eve.

Sean turned her head towards the window and away from Eve. “Yea, I know exactly what happened. You and your friends almost beat me to death. All because I didn’t mind my own business, that’s what.

“No, you have it all wrong!” exclaimed Eve.

“Then why don’t you explain it to me then,” said Sean.

“I know you have no reason to believe me, but I didn’t know that this was going to happen. When I finally realize what was going on, I fought Pat and her gang. When Pat’s friend Sheila hit you from the back with one of the trays, I just lost it. I never wanted you to get hurt,” Eve said.

“If you had just listened to me, this would not have happened. Why didn’t you listen?” questioned Sean.

“Well I told the cops what happened, and Pat and Sheila were arrested for what they did to you. Needless to say my parents want me to come back to New York. So as soon as the police are done with me I am leaving for good. Please forgive me. Good-bye, Sean. I will never forget you,” Eve said and turned away.

As Eve was leaving, Sean called out her name. “Hey Eve, I forgive you, please don’t leave.”

But Eve never looked back.

Tonight, on Twitter, I made a comment about being consistent with my writing as I am with my reading. That got a response from someone I think to be my mentor, teacher, friend, and editor (when I have something for her to edit).

Her words:

It’s about deciding your words are more important than the ones you read from others.

I needed to assess myself. So here I am assessing.

My writing is convoluted. Many things I write about has a little too much of my personal experiences in it. Do I really want anyone reading my words and getting the fiction and reality mixed up and feeling torn? I don’t know.

Failure! I am afraid of failure. Always have been. I’m told by many that I am a perfectionist. The more I think about it, the more I realize I am. I cannot get bad grades (for me a bad grade is lower than an A), but I encourage others that Bs are good. Seriously! I got a B in my Writing Analysis and Communications call and I was shocked. I wondered was writing what I should be doing because I didn’t make the grade. The professor told me getting a B in an English class is a good thing and I should be proud. Really? I can’t be magna cum laude with a B; so now I have to settle for suma cum laude. I don’t like settling. As many publishers as there is out in the writing world, will I ever find one that will say I create the type of stories that they are looking for? I don’t know.

Many people don’t know that I can sing. Though everyone may not think I sound as good as I believe and some others believe, I can sing. Hey not everyone thinks Whitney or Maxwell is that great a singer, but they are to me. What does this have to do with writing? I hide my talents because I’m afraid of not succeeding. Am I trying to be a millionaire? Not in this lifetime. But I do have stories that I think people besides my mother (my biggest fan; I think it’s because I’m her daughter, but she may say otherwise) would like. And of course I know the hecklers and bad reviews will always be out there. I’m just afraid I will never get them out there before I go home to Glory. I don’t want to be one of those writers that is discovered after they die. I want to be able to discuss my characters and their flaws with others. I want to hear the good, bad, and outright ugly.

That won’t happen until I make the necessary, required, needed time and effort to get my stories out of my head. Now I need a plan. I have assessed myself and realized yes I want to share my stories. But that cannot happen if I don’t first write them. Next step is to come up with a game plan. I will share once I workout the details. If you have any suggestions do share.

The image above is by Xxicons_4uxX.

Each time I tweet that I am sporting my TT, someone always ask me what is a TT. So the best way to describe it is in the creater’s, Carmen, own words.

Tomoka’s Twists was established for the desires of the growing numbers of women embracing their natural hair to creatively and functionally adorn their crowns. Tomoka’s Twists started around an old, oak table when a young lady wanted something better than a rubber band to make a huge, afro~puff. With the help of her family and few laughs and hours later three Tomoka’s Twists were born. One became an anklet and another a bracelet. And finally, one was worn for its true intention – a high afro~puff. Tomoka’s Twists offers unique jewelry for dreadlocks and loose natural hair.

I have a Tomoka’s twist with a matching pair of earrings and a tie (which I’ve mentioned before on an earlier post. You can read here.) If you know anyone with natural hair or yourself is a sister basking in her natural tresses take a look at Carmen’s site. You won’t be disappointed. I certainly am keeping watcg to see what else will jump off the screen at me.