With only one more day left of June, I’m disappointed and excited all at the same time.

Disappointed because I didn’t have that great of a reading month. I read three books, and if my headache eases a little, I may be able to finish the fourth between now and tomorrow night. I will recap those at the end of this post. I traveled a little this month. I went to NY for a week but my trip was eventful thanks to Air Tran. That’s another subject for another blog on a different day. I did enjoy my time in NY as did my children and that’s what matters.

I’m excited because I spent a good bit of this month putting finishing touches on my plot of my first ever Urban Christian Fiction novel entitled “CROSSING OVER.” I did the character sketches on Saturday and it was so good, I had to add to additional characters, who of course were screaming I want to be heard and seen. So they got their wishes. I can’t wait to start writing, which is the other reason why I’m so excited.

Beginning July 1st until the very last day of July, I will be attempting to write 50,000 words. I did it once before in November of 2007, so I know I can do it again. Then a fews after that I will starting school finally the last Thursday in August and my children returns to school on August the 1st as well.

June Recap
1. Orange Clouds Blue Sky by J. Hale Turner APOOO 4.5/Amazon 4
This is a very good YA book. I truly enjoyed reading to the innocence of a teenage girl wondering what is happening to the place she called home.

2. Unfaithful by Devon Scott APOOO 4.5/Amazon 4
This is a good hot and steamy drama-filled read. The characters were developed strong and bold.

3. Sweet Georgia Brown by Cheryl Robinson APOOO 4.5/Amazon 4
As I stated in an earlier blog, this was a great read. Of course some things done by Marvin, Georgia and a few others I believed if these people were in my life I would have to shake them. But it was good either way.

4. Just Be by Carla Sarratt
I’m still reading this one. It’s a book for YA and it’s pretty decent. Some things could have been left out so the book would move faster but, it good. I haven’t decided on my ratings as yet.

The only things I’m certain to read for the month of July is the two review books I’m holding and APOOO BOM.

What the Storyteller Brings by Robyn Demby (review)
Eleven Months of Hell by China Ball (review)
From Dusk to Dawn by Niambi Davis (APOOO BOM)

It’s also my mother’s birthday on the 4th of July; my 9th wedding anniversary on the 10th; a baby shower for a friend on the 12th; and The Color Purple at the Fox Theater on the 27th.

Busy, busy, busy. I’m ready to take the challenge.

What are you planning for the next four weeks?

TTFN!

I watched a movie I perhaps have heard of, but I can’t remember at the moment. That movie had me tearing up, because of things sad and some things I saw (which needed no words to go along with it to be powerful). The most touching things was a young African American man taking the time to not only learn from an older Scottish man, but he also taught him something about life.

Finding Forrester, starring Sean Connery and Rob Brown; my favorite rapper was in there also, Busta Rhymes. He didn’t rap, but he was an outstanding big brother who believed in his brother’s talent.

I love reading and writing so this was a treat for me, since the movie was about just that. Writing with passion, and knowing that you are writing from the heart and not from your head. That’s how your first draft comes to be.

The second draft comes from re-reading your first draft, and now you will use your knowledge to make sure what is written on paper evokes emotions from mainly yourself. If you’re happy with it, then it’s good and ready for whatever you want to do with it. Whether it means you will lock it away in a file cabinet, or read it in front of a room full of your peers.

Who are we as readers to analyze what an author meant or is trying to say with the words s/he has put on paper? Aren’t books for us to explore new worlds and to enjoy?

I know I ask these words, but I too am an analyzer of words. It’s ok though analyzing the world helps me to find myself.

What’s your reason for being so analytical? What are you doing to find yourself?

Earlier this week I finished reading Sweet Georgia Brown by Cheryl Robinson, a copy that I won just for saying hey I would like a copy of your book on a message board a few months back. I would’ve paid for it and not be pissed and want my money back.

Cheryl Robinson has some talent. This book was good. I may have cut Marvin if I was Georgia, but at last she is sweet and I’m not.

Then I got to thinking what if I got a chance of a lifetime like Georgia, hell even Marvin got a chance, even though he didn’t appreciate it. You know the saying “the Lord giveth and the Lord with taketh away.” Georgia got an opportunity, I won’t tell just in case someone wanting to read the book reads this.

But anyway what if an opportunity of a lifetime fell into your lap? What would you do? Would you stay humble and remember it’s not where your going, but where you’ve been that’s really important?

Share!

I remember this game I used to play while growing up with my friends. It was called MASH. You pretty much predicted how many kids you would have, who you’d marry and other stuff like that. Well while cruising (I don’t know how to surf. LOL) the internet I found a site to do it on-line. I did and everything is so true except the state I live in. See for yourself. It’s the little things that brings a smile to my face.

		I will marry edwin.
		After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in florida in our fabulous House.
		We will have 3 kid(s) together.
		Our family will zoom around in a blue sentra.
		I will spend my days as a writer, and live happily ever after.

As I sit in my house in the outskirts of Atlanta, I’m watching Hard Times at Douglass High on HBO and I’m in utter shock and disturbed.

This school is located in the inner city of Maryland. It’s also the oldest African American High School in the United States. They have 3 students passing. They have 15 books and a class of 25 per class. WTF?

These children and their parents are absolutely ridiculous. Every time there was a program of some sort at the school there was hardly any parents there. Forget about the students; on the days when they has to come to school, they didn’t so why would they come if they didn’t have to? There was more parental participation at the basketball games and the drumline shows.

When I went to school the auditoriums were packed to the hilt, leaving standing room only. And you know what that was filled to the brim as well.

Now it’s graduation time, and they get an envelope with either a gold or blue paper. Gold stands for passing and blue meanings that they have messed up somewhere. It’s the teacher’s jobs to find away to get the blue ones something to do to pass and graduate.

On graduation day there is a whole ganga people present.

Where are we going wrong? How come we have so many children struggling with their now, which will eventually affect their future? Why is it those who are 17, 18 and some older are still in the damn 9th grade and read at a 4th grade level? They should be graduating.

One teacher was so distraught he quit after the first semester, leaving his three classes without a teacher. The students said positive stuff about him, but admitted he gave them many chances, but they blew them all. What can we do?

There are times when I just want to have a good old fashion, snot running down my nose, sobs escaping from my throat cry. I get so aggravated down to the very essence of my being, but instead of crying on the outside, I cry within.

No one has to know, but me. I’m still looked at as a stable mind wife and mother. This is all while I am falling to pieces inside.

I’m frustrated by so many things, but isn’t that a natural trait of being a human being? Life was never said to be easy. Can something, anything, even if it is very minor be simple and easy to obtain?

Would I be looked down upon if I had a decent cry for a change? It has been at least two years since I have shed a tear. I’m in a turmoil inside and for the life of me I don’t want to find out why. I know that in order to heal whatever is bothering me I need to face the problem…my problem.

I wonder is that the way children feel. You know he ones who you hear about killing their fellow classmates and then themselves or the ones you find hanging in their closets by their belts. Can no one really see that they’re crying out for help before it gets to the extreme, and end in a not so good situation for many?

Please don’t think I’m about to kill anyone or myself, but when I get in these moods I think about different scenarios, dealing with different situations, and how others choose to accept, or go again it. My mind has all sorts of funky things going on in there.

I guess that’s the reason why I want to be a writer. I have to correct myself. I am a writer.

I write to feel free from my reality, and the reality of many others. I hate crying inside and not on the outside, but if I release all the tears I have within I may just dry up complete and die. I can cry for the simplest of things, even a movie. So imagine what it would be like when I watch the news and see all the people missing or all the children abused and lost walking through life. Poor souls.

Okay I’m done rambling about my woes of the world.

TTFN!

R. Kelly (to me Raper Kelly)got off…I am not surprised. And I’ll tell you why. When any famous man with a nice size bank account gets into a bind with the law they always get off. Micheal Jackson, O.J. Simpson, George Bush, Rapper T.I., and Bob Barker to name a few. Now when a woman with the same bank account get into trouble, where do they end up? Doing time, whether it is in a maximum security person or a jail that seems like a day spa. Martha Stewart, Lil Kim, Foxy Brown, and Remy Ma to name a few. Their debt to society has to be paid, but not the man.

What the hell is the difference? Look at Joey Buttafucco (Lord I butchered his name, but ya’ll know who I mean) told Amy Fisher, who by the way I went to school with in 2000, to kill his wife, she did time and he walked around as free as a bird. What the hell is a grown man doing with an insecure, low self-esteem 16 year-old?

Yes we are now in the 21st century but has times really changed that much? Yes it has but in instants of our wonderful justice system, nothing has yet gone from simple and plain black and white to vibrant and complicated techni-color. The only way anything will happen so we are all walking on an equal playing ground is for us to be not only aware, but actively trying to make a significant change.

When a good friend of mine told me to blog about this, because I pointed it out to her; I thought what the hell for? People don’t care, but it dawned on me I do care. What if it were my daughter, would I not be equally mad/ Hell yes I would and I would have to take justice into my own hands. And I know they wouldn’t hesitate to lock my behind up and throw away the keys.

I’m not a fool but some choices are not always for the best interest of the people. But while Wesley Snipes and whoever else male walk the street, think of what it is you are doing to make a difference. It only takes about five minutes to yell from the roof top that justice is not being served, and not because they say justice is blind are we to walk away and turn our backs. If we don’t speak up, who the hell will?

Let’s Start at the Very Beginning…

Julie Andrews as Maria said it best, in The Sound of Music. The beginning is a very good place to start. I’ve been writing since I was in junior high school. It all began when I would write poetry about a guy I was smitten by; of course he didn’t even know I existed, but I love his dimples and he made me smile.

From there my writing evolved to different emotions and the people who were in my world making it what it was. I felt great. It truly was something I didn’t realize I was doing until I got to my senior year there. My English teacher, Mr. Doyle, told us about a contest called “The Mule Bone.” That was a play written by Langston Hughes. I gave him my notebook and told him to choose one and he was delighted to read my treasures. He picked my poem entitled “Frightened.” I was a semi-finalist in the contest; I received two tickets to see the play and a poster, which my mother had framed. I still have that poster displayed in my family room to this day. I never did get to see the play, but that’s ok.

In high school I did a little short story that the teacher loved. Years later I entered my poems on Poetry.com and won $5000. So I had the talent, and right as others were noticing it, I put it away for many years. I had lost that passion for sometime. I doodle a word here and a word there, but it wasn’t the same. It took something life altering to wake me up and I began writing with an even greater desire than ever before. I’ve since completed a manuscript, a volume of poetry and plotted out several stories. I’ve completed three short stories, and there is three more in the making.

The question for you is do you remember your beginning? What got you writing? Share!

Until next time be blessed without the stress.

I thought this was weird; I put both my given name and the name I choose to write by and it was so close in meaning it was scary. Try it after you read my meaning. For those that really know me it’s safe to say the nail was hit on the head…right?

What Jennifer Means

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you. You never give up, and you will succeed… even if it takes you a hundred tries. You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It’s easy to get you excited… which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don’t stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings. You are able to be a foundation for other people… but you still know how to have fun. Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You’re always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can’t handle you. You’re very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you’re likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

What Bizarre Jc Means

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous. You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things. Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It’s easy to get you excited… which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don’t stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience. You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along. But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it’s hard to get you to budge. You are usually the best at everything … you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic “Type A” personality. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You’re always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can’t handle you. You’re very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you’re likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you. You never give up, and you will succeed… even if it takes you a hundred tries. You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice. You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.