From reading my title I guess you can tell my blog will be about two different things today.

1- Library

2- Menopause

The Library:

I live in one of the suburbs forty-five minutes or so outside of Atlanta, and I would call it a well diversified area. A little bit of every national, but really the main occupants are Caucasians and African Americans. I have never ever had any racial discrimination of any sorts until I perused the shelf of my local library.

I am so tired of having to get them to order my book from another location that has anywhere from one to forty copies of a title I want to read, but unfortunately my library doesn’t carry. I know you might think I’m looking for Urban Fiction, maybe some Street-Lit, but truly I’m not. They don’t carry authors’ like Kendra Norman-Bellamy, they have one book by Victoria Christopher Murray, and the names go on.

I remember back in January, I requested two books, Upstate by Kalisha Buckhanon and The Living Blood by Tananarive Due; it took a little over a month to get. I was not happy at all. It came from so far away my husband asked me if that was still Georgia.

What do I do when I’m trying to support my library, introduce my children to authors from all walks of life, including those who are part of their families’ culture: ex. My in-laws are from Haiti and my family is from Jamaica; how do they learn that blacks and whites alike can pen a great literary masterpiece? Do I have to spend copious amounts of money to purchase the things I want them to read? Please tell me what I need to do…

Menopause:

For some this topic would make them depressed, sad and to others jubilant. I’m the later. I’ve been experiencing hot flashes, accompanied by night sweats for about a year and a half. Within the last six to eight months it has gotten really bad. I finally tell my doctor at my annual poke and probe, he was not happy. Me being me, I told him Dr. G. I need this to happen, because I can’t stand my cycles. I’ve had one since I was eleven years old. I got it before my mother could give me the talk on the birds and bees and becoming a woman. I went on to tell him I will have a party because I’ll be so excited…this is when he popped my bubble.

If you are menopausal at thirty, something is wrong that’s not a good sign. Thanks, Doc! What now? He goes on to tell me I will need hormone replacement therapy, and I am damn near dead. Should I say he gave me a lecture last year because my iron levels were very low…yes they still are. So I’m anemic and he’s now hoping that is the reason behind my hot flashes, night sweats and my other symptoms of freedom coming. I personally hope it’s menopause, because my cycle is horrible, and I cannot use birth control it makes it worse. He was trying to kill two birds with one pill a day, but it made it worse. Birth control and bring up my iron levels. Terrible isn’t it? Oh well I will just wait to find out my results of my blood test and take it with a grain of salt. Someone somewhere is worse off than me, so I won’t complain.

When you see a title like luna, you’re thinking maybe a luna eclipse something to do with the moon, right? Not in this post. Tonight my husband was going to grill only to find out we were out of propane for our gas grill. When he came back inside off of our deck he left the lights on.

As I’m standing at the sink I keep seeing a shadow of what I thought was a leaf. I got the shock of my life. If you saw the Spiderwick Chronicles, then you will remember this thing. She was one of those fairy type animals the scientist saw before he disappeared. Here’s what we saw…yes this is real, because my husband took the picture with our digital camera. The date is there to prove it. I say all this because when I sent it to my sister-in-law she was like you blew it up so I could see it better right. Hell no what you see is what it is. I promise. Meet the Luna Moth. have you ever seen one?

March Recap…

I know March isn’t officially over until Monday evening, but nothing much is going to happen from now until then. I mean I may read a few more pages, but I’m not sure if I will completely finish reading another book, if I do I will come and amend this post.

Author Sightings:

For all who don’t know, I review books for APOOO (A Place Of Our Own) www.apooo.org. If you follow the arrow you will see the many faces that represent the lovely ladies of APOOO. —> After reviewing a total of nine books for March, I also read four books for entertainment purposes books. You can check my reviews out here

I went to Borders on March 16^th to meet one of the author’s whose book, Consequences: When Love Is Blind, I truly did enjoy, refer back to my Amazon review, Linda R. Herman. She was as sweet as humble apple pie. I truly enjoyed being in her presence. While chatting with her I met Tina Brooks McKinney. It had to be my lucky day two authors at one time. After leaving Borders, I ran right over to Wal-Mart to pick her latest book, Fool Stop Trippin’. I know you’re wondering why I didn’t just purchase it there, because they had her poster but none of her books. Go figure that one. She was a doll as well. I was suppose to go to her release party on March 28, but my allergies had better plans, it’s called making me feel like hell on wheels. I’ll be at the next one.

The following Saturday, March 22, the book club I’m a part of here in Atlanta, Words of Inspiration, was hosting a sign and dine with Michelle Larks, author of Keeping Misery Company, another great read. She was also so sweet. I was cavity bound for sure. To support their fellow Urban Christian author, Kendra Norman-Bellamy and Rhonda Nain was there. They were also sweet. I also had the pleasure of meeting a fellow reviewer of APOOO, who I only corresponded in the past via email, Lena. She is cute and as sweet as can be also.

Books Read:

1. Never Knew Love Like This Before by Maxine Thompson, Michelle McGriff, Denise Campbell APOOO Rating: 3 Amazon Rating: 3

2. Secret Lovers by Patricia Anne Phillips, Maxine Thompson, Michelle McGriff APOOO Rating: 3.5 Amazon Rating: 4

3. The Living Blood by Tananarive Due APOOO Rating: 4 Amazon: 4

4. Keeping Misery Company by Michelle Larks APOOO Rating: 4 Amazon: 4

5. Dance Into Destiny by Sherri L. Lewis APOOO Rating: 4.5 Amazon: 4

6. A Walk In My Shoes by Gwynita Leggington APOOO Rating: 3.5 Amazon: 3

7. At Home On The Edge by Lisa A. Stafford APOOO Rating: 3.5 Amazon: 4

8. 28 Days of Poetry Celebrating Black History Volume 2 by Latorial Faison APOOO: 4 Amazon Rating: 4

9. The Trickster And The Howling Wind by Lisa A. Stafford APOOO: 3 Amazon: 3

10. Grandma’s Soup as told by Ja’Nae by V.L. Morris APOOO Rating: 4 Amazon: 4

11. Soul Poems for My Sistas by Michele Washington APOOO Rating: 3 Amazon: 3

12. Braided In My Hair by Tiffany Alexander APOOO Rating: 4 Amazon: 4

13. I also read a special friend’s unpublished manuscript. I will tell you about her one day because she is going to do great things with her writings.

Alright people that was it for March, I hope April is the same if not better. Until then, happy reading.

Share with me what you read you never know I might like to read something off your list. By the way if you don’t see one of these books on Amazon it’s because the author isn’t selling it there, but if you ask I may be able to find a web address inside their book.

TTYL,

Bizarre JC

ps. I tried to place the pictures where I mentioned the author and didn’t get it right maybe next time.

When I re-read the passage below, it makes me laugh a little. The reason is because I used to have a group of acquaintances I hung out with on Sundays and Thursday, and some weekends; they would see me reading my novels, whether paranormal, Christian-lit, romance…it really didn’t matter, because they always said the same thing.

“Why are you reading that garbage? You’re putting poison into your mind.” I’m sorry let me re-evaluate me for a second. I don’t take what I read in the fiction world literally. I read them for entertainment purposes. I read non-fiction and some of it is just as brutal as the things I was reading in the made up story, but it was okay to read about the person who did drugs and had sex with a few dozen people because they turned their life around.

This is why the excerpt from Mental Healing…Fertilizer for the Soul fits in so well today. I had to remove some people from my life to focus on what was best for me. It was time to begin striving for my dreams without the negative impact of someone else’s opinion.

Day Two

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. Philippians 4 v. 8 TNIV

Did you say your mantra today? I hope you did because now you need to start focusing on what you want to accomplish today. If you are sitting down and gossiping, your life will be filled with tall tales and emptiness.

This is the time to start to write down your dreams and aspirations. If you don’t have any dreams, you have nothing to reach for, so you stay focused on the wrong things. But if you have dreams, you can set goals, and then you are focusing on the big picture, not the world’s dirty laundry.

If you find you’re the kind of person who absorbs everything negative, whether it is in your personal life, from a juicy novel, or from the media…disconnect the tie. Don’t continue to put junk in your mental space because you will only receive junk.

So sit down and really think about it today, what is it that you really want in life? Put them on paper and post them all around you, because when you see it, you are more likely to remember and reach for it.

I finished reading Dance Into Destiny by Sherri L. Lewis last night. That was a really good read. It was a book about finding yourself, your purpose, finding love and listening to God. I truly enjoyed it.

There was something I read that triggered a memory for me…my wedding day. On the day that should be the biggest day ever and people fussing over me, turned into me chastising my new father-in-law, fixing my sister’s hair because it fell, and dealing with 90 plus degrees and my delicate white calla lilies. That’s not where my memories were emotional.

Instead of going down the aisle with my father giving me away, my mother walked me down and gave me away. Instead a father-daughter dance, it was a mother-daughter dance. To many it may have been funny or weird even, but to me it was the norm.

My father didn’t come to school to hear about my progression through the years. He wasn’t in the waiting room when my first child was born. He wasn’t there when my heart was being broken by the guy of my dreams. He just wasn’t there. Yes we lived in the same home, but something was missing. I can’t say what it was he was missing, but I know he missed it, whatever it was. I hope he finds it soon. Since he reached out to me on my 30th birthday. I will try because I don’t want to die with animosity or hate on my heart.

Have you read anything or seen anything that has triggered a memory? What book and share the memory, whether good or bad.

Happy Easter…Happy Resurrection Sunday!

I love the Lord, and I don’t care who knows it. I had wanted to go to the sunrise service at church today, but I went to bed late and of course woke up late. I’m not mad. I wasn’t going to go to the traditional service any way. I planned on sitting on my couch streaming it. Stream is watching it on the internet live. I’m glad I did wake up in time to see the service. It was absolutely awesome.

My church is something else. You can check it out www.churchinthenow.org I love it because it is different from the average round-the-mill, propped up on every corner church. Bishop Swilley preaches to the masses.

This past year I’ve been struggling with going to the physical church building, because it’s too tiring trying to get my household up and out the door. When I get there I’m physically exhausted, so streaming works for. I’ve missed many very good sermons I’m sure, what I missed most was finding out that my Bishop has a blog. You can check him out www.bloginthenow.blogspot.com

On his page you will see the artwork that he’s done. I love it. You will also see the books he has written, love those as well. But what I care the most about is his blog message, where he’s sharing something wonderful.

A long with struggling to find me, I’ve been struggling to write a lot of things I find truly near and dear to my heart. One of them just happens to be a book that I’ve been working on for quite some time called Mental Healing…Fertilizer for the Soul. I wanted it to be a book of mantras, a different one for each day of the year. Not so much. Then I said let it just be about different life lessons, I’m too young to teach about life lessons. I can only offer insight on the things I’ve gone through and witnessed in my thirty-years of being on this earth. Now I want it to be something from deep down in my belly. The type of thing where depending on my emotional stability, will make me cry rivers.

I will use my blog as a place to offer some of the things I’ve already written from my original vision. As time goes on I will add the newer stuff I’m working on. I’m not trying to offend anyone with my views on religion or on anything else. If I make an impact in one person’s life then that’s wonderful, if not it’s okay too.

Without further ado you will find the first excerpt of Mental Healing…Fertilizer for the Soul below.

Our body needs to be cleansed on the inside as well as the outside. Many times things and people enter into our world, and they are toxic. The toxins that are being released from their body and mind into your being will kill your joy and spirit.

When you are going to have a colonoscopy, you do a colon cleanser, or better known as a colonic, we have to do that to our spirit. It is not always easy, so you have to take your precious time.

With that being said I have created a positive daily dose of reality, to help purge the toxins from your spirit. This is where you may lose friends and family members, but if they want you to be more focused and have more positive things happen to you, then they will understand, and they too may want to check to see what kind of toxins are they allowing into their everyday life. They may be surprised at what they find mixed in with the purest friendship.

Day One

I can do all things through Christ which strengthen me. Philippians 4 v 13 KJV
Start you day from here on in with a positive thought, mantra, something. It really doesn’t matter if you got up feeling blue. Get positive reels going in your head, and your bad day will change to something wonderful.

I went to a conference, where one of the speakers was telling people to say things that did not break their spirit of being successful in the business but will keep them in a positive mind frame.

“I can. I will. I will not be denied. I have every right to be successful. No one will steal my dreams. If they don’t like it, they can jump off the tallest building.”- Bill Britt

This does not have to apply to only your business; you can use it in your everyday life. What do you want to achieve? What are your dreams and aspirations? Keep a positive reel going, add more mantras accordingly.

Chapter Two

Upon arriving at Myla’s apartment I felt relief, I exhaled like the woman from Terry McMillian’s book. The only thing left on my to-do-list, was to get my eat on and my internal itch scratched.

I’m too old for that. I wonder if it’s true what they say; with age women get more aroused, and men well they need some help from the little blue pill.

As I walked to Myla’s third floor apartment, I passed my hands over my hair and clothes. Don’t know why, no men were going to be there. Lord, knows I wish there was one.

She must’ve been waiting for me because the door flew open as my foot touched the top of the landing.

“Girl, what took you so damn long to get here?” Kim asked stepping aside to let me in.

“Sean was trying to get in my way. Ooo wee, it sure does smell good up in here.”

“What you drinking? You know I brought the alcohol.”

“You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t,” said Myla.

“Hey, is dinner ready? I’m starved.”

“That’s all you concern yourself with. You’ll be sorry one day when you blow-up like a blimp.”

“Kim not everyone need to be as flexible as you. I can still back all this junk in my trunk up, and put it down. Now fix me a rum and coke. Myla, what did you make, can we finally eat?”

Myla rolled her eyes, shaking her head at me. “Come get this seafood lasagna and garlic bread, before your ass waste away.”

Kim running pass, threw the drink in my hand, heading for the kitchen. “Oh see there now, I’m not the only greedy ass up in here.”

“You knew that already. Can you two at least save a piece for the chef?”

“Just a little bit,” I called out while taking a seat at the white-washed kitchen table.

As soon as all three of us had food in front of us, we became silent. We all shoveled the delicious pasta into our mouths, drinking the beverage of our own choice.

A thought of Sean ran across my mind. I chuckled.

Kim’s right eyebrow arched, curiosity poured off her. Myla clasped her hand under her chin, waiting. I played innocent, unknowing.

“What you guys staring at?”

“We didn’t hear anyone speaking so what’s the joke? Share with us, that way we can laugh too.”

“Sean ran across my mind, telling me I better answer him or else.”

Kim pulled her straight razor out of her bra. I totally forgot she was also ghetto as hell. Always ready to fight. “You need me to cut him?”

I knew she was serious. Only left to do was change the subject, quickly.

“Did you guys notice the new music teacher?” Myla was faster.

Any talk of a man grabbed Kim’s attention. To be honest mine, too. Right now since I’m going through a dry spell, even though, I’m married.

“Spill it Myla. Who is he, where can I find him, and is he married?”

Placing my index finger over my lips, signaling for her to keep quiet, he’s mine. In all actuality I was very attracted to Mr. Carolito Chavez, they didn’t need to know that though. I’m married, but I’m not dead. I can dream, right?

Here is what you waited all week for, episode two of Stepping On Balled-Up Toes. If you missed week one just scroll down a little. Once I figure out how to hyper link then you just be a click away. Don’t forget to send some friends. Until next time, enjoy Isis on her quest.

It was things like that comment that made me fearful of him. I’m disgusted by him. He is so not like my Tony. Everyone loved him, but he was all mines.

“Remember who does all the cooking up in here. You never know when your last meal maybe,” I said to him, while walking out the room.

I must’ve said it really low, because he didn’t comment or look my way. It didn’t matter to me though, I wonder if it’s really love why I keep him hanging around, or is he just my bed warmer? Now that I’m thinking about it, he hasn’t warmed shit for me in a long time.

The vibration of my cell on my hip scared the hell out of me. By the time I got it dislodged from the stupid clip the vibrating stopped. It was obvious who it was, only one person I knew would be so impatient.

“Myla, will you ever learn patience?” I yelled into the phone, as soon as she answered.

“Shoot, no. You already know I can’t stand waiting for anything not even fast food.”

“Something else, no one will ever understand about you. Anyway, what the hell did you want when you called?”

“You almost made me forget, that’s the reason why I can’t wait for anything or I lose it.”

“Alright so spit it out before you forget again.”

“Kim wants us to come over, do nails and girl stuff. So you coming or what?”

“Is that my invitation to relax?”

“I thought you worked in a school? You not really smart and you’re in charge of people kids. Yes, Isis, can you come out to play and grace us with your beautiful face, please?”

“Everybody got some slick shit to say to me today. Will there be food?”

“Hell yeah! I’m cooking right now.”

I already knew I was going, just to get away from Sean, but food sealed the deal. “I’m there.” Added bonus is I don’t have to cook for him either. He gets to live one more night.

“See ya in a bit. Let me finish up.”

“Alright, bye. Hold up!” Realizing I had no clue whose apartment this was taking place. “Your bad memory is rubbing off on me now. Yours or Kim’s?”

“Mines or Kim’s what?” she asked sounding clueless.

“Girly stuff is happening where?”

“Didn’t I say I was cooking, so that could only mean, it’s here. Surely you didn’t think I would be toting no damn food, especially not feed ya’ll greedy asses.”

“Myla…you’re stupid, bye.”

Someone will be hungry and alone tonight and it ain’t gonna be me. I’m happy. I prefer dinner with the chatterbox, Myla, and the slut, Kim.

It’s my belief Kim should have been a damn man. She loves sex and will spread wide for anyone she meet, but I love her, anyway, notches and all.

Sean was still sitting in the same spot. Not owing him any explanations, I said, “See ya later. Don’t wait up, I’ll be late.”

Grabbing my keys, I was at the door before he responded.

“Where you going, and who with?”

“Pay a bill, cook a meal, then I’ll answer you. Until then all you’ll get is where ever my car decides to take me.”

The absolute nerves of some people thinking they run shit with no pot to piss in except for someone else’s.

“Hey Isis, you hear me talking to you, or what?”
Now I had his attention. His eyes actually left the television, as did his ass from the couch.

“Or what sounds like a good enough answer.”

“It’s smart shit like that there, makes a woman grow a fat lip and a black eye,” he said threatening me.

I know I should’ve been afraid, but tonight my mouth was hanging loose. “Any day you want to look at your penis eye to hole, let me know, because I’ll be the black Ms. Bobbit. Goodnight!”

Turning I walked straight out the door, leaving Sean standing there speechless. Off to hang with the ladies and have some much needed fun.

I’ve been thinking about going back to school for some time now. Today I finally went and enrolled, applied for financial aide, now I just have to sit back and wait to hear how much of my college credits from my old school (York College in Jamaica, NY) can I transfer over. I have to wait to see how fast I can finish my Associates degree, so I can dive into my major of Early Childhood Education.

I told my kids that’s what I was doing and you know what they told me they were so proud of me, and cheered me on. I didn’t need anymore validation than that. I made my babies proud. So I am a 30 year-old, mother of three, wife, writer, avid reader, reviewer for APOOO BookClub. And now I can add college student. How cool is that?

Have you ever wanted really badly to do something, finish something that you started? If the answer is yes, what’s stopping you? Just go ahead and do it. Procrastination is one’s worst enemy.

Here of late I’ve been looking for a writer’s group here in Georgia. But so far the ones I’ve found are for Christian writing only. While I love reading Christian fiction, I don’t think I have what it takes right now to write a religious based novel. Maybe one day I will have a revelation, but right now is not the time for me.

I am apart of a writer’s group online, which the ladies are great, but I sometimes want to see people in the flesh. Be able to look in their eyes and get a real eye-to-eye reaction from them when they give me a critique. Not a I really like it, but I seriously don’t via my email.

I’m looking for serious writers, too. Not people who want or desire to be an author but is writing nothing, not even a few silly lines of nothingness. Each member would have to have something to be critiqued every month, not come and give their opinions but never have anything for others to give an opinion about.

Though I know we all have things going on, if you prioritize then you can fit it in. Someone wise said that just today. You have to make time for your dreams, goals, and aspirations.

My goal for this year is to finish two old writing projects and one new. Last year I completed two, which I was proud and smiling. I don’t know when they will hit the market but they will one day.

So far I’ve had three different individuals critique both of my finished works (one is poetry and the other is my first novel.) Now that I’m thinking about it I finished two short stories as well.

I digress…How would you go about starting a critique group? What advice could you give to a novice such as myself as to what you would expect from the group and it’s members? And if you are in the Atlanta area and want to be apart of something like this, let a girl know and we can talk.